Standing alone on Greenville Avenue with a flask and what had become a half pack of smokes, I shot out a few text messages. No response, though I was not surprised by this (I'm not exactly high priority company). The Granada was having bands play all afternoon on their patio, which seemed like it would be a good time, or at least a better time than standing alone at a somewhat ambiguous location. Also, it was free.
Finally I received a reply text from Eric indicating that he was indeed at the Granada with some people. One problem: I wasn't sure which direction it was. I knew that north of me was the Dubliner, Stan's, and a bunch of other bars. This was less a testament to my knowledge of East Dallas geography than it was to the stench of beer and sweat emanating from that direction. In fact, the whole block was fenced off and open only to those who were 21+ and had 5 bucks cash. I'm 25, so I was allowed to enter. I had a hunch that the Granada was beyond this madness.
Fuck. Five bucks. Okay, fine, whatever. Anything to get me north.
I start wandering through the throngs of drunk douchebags and suddenly it dawns on me that if the Granada is not this way, I'm screwed. As I descended further into the madness, I was pretty sure I was going in the wrong direction, but I pushed onward anyway. This perseverance had nothing to do with "trusting my first instincts". I just couldn't turn around because it was too fucking crowded and I wanted out ASAP. Oh, I still hadn't eaten anything.
Keep going, check wallet, look angry.
There were cops on the rooftops looking down on the rather mild debauchery below. I didn't see any snipers, but that's probably the point. By the time I hit Stan's Blue Note, the end was in sight, and I could see gates at the northern end of the "strip". Some dude in a yellow jacket stamps my hand (like I was coming back?). I'm out.
Now I should explain that at this point that I was seriously considering just getting a cab back to my car and driving home for a shower and a nap. I haven't had a drink since I left Ed's car (which honestly wasn't that long ago), haven't eaten anything since the night before, and was all by myself. Something made me keep walking North (beer?), and shortly thereafter (3 blocks or so) I saw the San Francisco Rose (bar) and I knew that the Granada was just beyond (that little revelation came DIRECTLY from my superior knowledge of East Dallas geography).
Oh, that shining beacon of Greenville, the Granada Theatre! The sign rises from the murky asphalt like a... hold on, let me log onto Google Street View and see... a, well, it actually looks quite plain. Just a vertical sign with "GRANADA" on it. Anyway, it looked good to me, as I really needed a drink and a place to relax (not to mention someone to complain to; I was getting quite annoyed with myself).
Walking up to the ancient (for Dallas) theatre, I noticed that there were a lot of people milling around the outside. I ask the lady at the "entrance" (it was just a break in the chained off area of the sidewalk) how I could get in, and she said she only needed my ID. I was a bit wary, but she assured me that she wouldn't keep it, but that she just wanted to take a look and would give it back. She had an honest face, so I took a chance. She handed it back, and I was in!
See Eric and others, go to bar, order whiskey. Drink. Order more, drink. Rock out. Switch to Miller Lite. Order slice of pizza (first food of the day). GOOD. Order another. Drink. Rock out.
At this point (approximately), a few things dawn on me. First, my phone is running out of juice. Second, I'm running out of money (and I have no ATM card (long story)). Third, I have an engagement at night with a different group of fine folks (you know who you are) that I promised I'd be at, yet my car is in Lakewood (not that I was in any condition to drive it). Finally, I'm running out of cigarettes. There was nothing I could do about my first problem, but I made arrangements for my mother to meet up with Jeff (who I would be seeing later that night) and give him money for me. That worked. Thanks, Mom (and Jeff)!
As I mentioned previously, there were bands playing on the "patio" of the Granada. The first band was pretty good; a lot of energy, good tunes, etc. Their bassist was a Ginger, which freaked me out a bit, but not too bad.
Drink count: ~?
The second band was badass. They were hippies, and they busted out Dylan songs, Panic songs, probably some Dead, etc. Hippie music. Jammed it out, etc. However, by this point, the sun was coming in at such an extreme angle that the awning didn't do jack shit. Fucking inferior awnings.
Anyway, at some point during this thing, I had gotten new cigarettes (another problem solved; see above) and more people I knew had shown up (Christy and Megan at least, although there could have been others as well).
Rock out. Drink more beer. Rock out more. Puff (legal) smoke.
New idea: Andrew can pick me up on his way into town! Brilliant!
Well, after drinking and rocking out for many hours, my crew was heading to another locale. I probably wasn't, as I had the aforementioned engagement in a couple hours and my ride was getting close. We parted ways at Greenville and McCommas (not sure if they noticed that this actually happened). With the rest of the group descending into the madness (Lower Greenville or drunkenness, take your pick), I headed for Central down McCommas.
Next: Andrew's and the Limo, or "Waiting by the side of the road and then making a great decision."
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Parade
Having not attended the Greenville Avenue St. Patrick's Day (or not) parade before, I was unprepared for the sight as Ed's car turned off of Central and on to Greenville (via University or some other street between Mockingbird and Lovers). I'm not sure why all of us decided to crack a beer in the car just prior to this, but in light of the increased police presence in that neighborhood, it probably wasn't a great idea (although it was a much worse idea for the 19 year old and the driver than it was for me).
We managed to find a parking spot at the Tom Thumb. I'm not sure how, but I'm sure it had something to do with me. After a quick seal-breaking by the dumpsters, we were off. The crowd on that corner was MASSIVE. When I find myself in the middle of a mob like that, I often wonder how hard it would be to start a riot. 2 of the 3 elements were there, but it just wasn't hot enough. People were too content. In order to TRULY start a massively destructive riot, there must be a large group of people (check), they must be drunk (double check!), and they must be pissed off already (hence the need for heat). Unfortunately, the weather was perfect.
While we weren't going to be "burning the motherfucker down", we did spot Fro in the parking lot of the CVS. Time to crack a beer and light up a smoke. Mmmm... Guinness and Tobacco. Mix in a pull of whiskey from time to time, and I'm getting there. The rest of the crew filters in just as the parade is about to start. One of their coolers has already been broken. People need to learn that styrofoam coolers cannot support the weight of a toddler, let alone a 25 year old girl. Oh well, not my beer.
I had little desire to actually see the parade. It was about what I expected. Drunk people on poorly made floats throwing beads and other trinkets at the crowd. Naturally, I tried to catch said trinkets. I got 1 string of green beads and I was happy. I also saw the BC float, which was nice, and the ND float, which I threw shit at. Overall, a wonderfully absurdist spectacle that had little to do with Ireland
Drink count: ~10
For some strange reason, I had to piss. I like Asian people, also. What do these two statements have to do with each other? Well, the Chinese restaurant on the block had a restroom and NO LINE to use it. Now most places on this day reserved their restrooms for, you know, people who actually bought their shit. Not this place. Everyone assumed that it wasn't open to the public. I'm not sure whether or not it was, but we used it anyway, and the polite Asian man didn't try to stop me. He made the right decision, as doing so would have been hazardous to his health. I REALLY had to pee.
More beer, more whiskey, parade ends with the Budweiser horses. I wasn't drinking Anheuser-Busch products, but it was cool nonetheless.
Parade ends. Street's a mess. I have 1 beer left in my backpack. Good timing! We get back to the car and crack a beer (AGAIN!). Getting out of the parking lot was a bit of a pain, but the beer helped. Then Ed made a fatal mistake. He turned into The Village. Impossible to get around, wrong turns, dead ends. Cops everywhere. FINALLY made it to Skillman. Then things get fuzzy. Ed just drops me off near the M streets and Greenville. He said he'd call me later. I haven't seen him since.
Drink count: ~13
Next: Greenville and The Granada, "Where the fuck am I and where is everyone?"
We managed to find a parking spot at the Tom Thumb. I'm not sure how, but I'm sure it had something to do with me. After a quick seal-breaking by the dumpsters, we were off. The crowd on that corner was MASSIVE. When I find myself in the middle of a mob like that, I often wonder how hard it would be to start a riot. 2 of the 3 elements were there, but it just wasn't hot enough. People were too content. In order to TRULY start a massively destructive riot, there must be a large group of people (check), they must be drunk (double check!), and they must be pissed off already (hence the need for heat). Unfortunately, the weather was perfect.
While we weren't going to be "burning the motherfucker down", we did spot Fro in the parking lot of the CVS. Time to crack a beer and light up a smoke. Mmmm... Guinness and Tobacco. Mix in a pull of whiskey from time to time, and I'm getting there. The rest of the crew filters in just as the parade is about to start. One of their coolers has already been broken. People need to learn that styrofoam coolers cannot support the weight of a toddler, let alone a 25 year old girl. Oh well, not my beer.
I had little desire to actually see the parade. It was about what I expected. Drunk people on poorly made floats throwing beads and other trinkets at the crowd. Naturally, I tried to catch said trinkets. I got 1 string of green beads and I was happy. I also saw the BC float, which was nice, and the ND float, which I threw shit at. Overall, a wonderfully absurdist spectacle that had little to do with Ireland
Drink count: ~10
For some strange reason, I had to piss. I like Asian people, also. What do these two statements have to do with each other? Well, the Chinese restaurant on the block had a restroom and NO LINE to use it. Now most places on this day reserved their restrooms for, you know, people who actually bought their shit. Not this place. Everyone assumed that it wasn't open to the public. I'm not sure whether or not it was, but we used it anyway, and the polite Asian man didn't try to stop me. He made the right decision, as doing so would have been hazardous to his health. I REALLY had to pee.
More beer, more whiskey, parade ends with the Budweiser horses. I wasn't drinking Anheuser-Busch products, but it was cool nonetheless.
Parade ends. Street's a mess. I have 1 beer left in my backpack. Good timing! We get back to the car and crack a beer (AGAIN!). Getting out of the parking lot was a bit of a pain, but the beer helped. Then Ed made a fatal mistake. He turned into The Village. Impossible to get around, wrong turns, dead ends. Cops everywhere. FINALLY made it to Skillman. Then things get fuzzy. Ed just drops me off near the M streets and Greenville. He said he'd call me later. I haven't seen him since.
Drink count: ~13
Next: Greenville and The Granada, "Where the fuck am I and where is everyone?"
The Early Show
I wasn't even going to go. The night before, Friday, was going to be an early one, and I wanted to get some much needed sleep. Nonetheless, the patio at Jake's has many strange powers, and on this particular Friday afternoon, it convinced me that waking up at an ungodly hour (8:00 is early on a Saturday, okay?) and then drinking all day (and night) would be a good idea. In retrospect, it wasn't a good idea. It was a GREAT idea.
Upon leaving the bar, I felt it necessary to stop by a liquor store for the obligatory bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey. I made it with 5 minutes to spare. A stop at the gas station for a 12 pack of Guinness Draught-in-a-bottle, and I was all set (for the morning and early afternoon at least).
Home, bed, set alarm for 7:35.
Wake at 7:35. Hit snooze 3 times (at 10 minutes per). 8:05 actually out of bed. Feelin' good. QUICK shower. Green shirt, cargo pants (I needed the pockets), argyle socks, boat shoes, white linen shirt, green Sox hat. Lookin' good (this would be a temporary state).
I hop in the car, fill my flask with Jameson (hence the cargo pants), and drive off. I needed gas for the car and ice for the beer, and both are available at the same location (hence the name "convenience store"). Ed wanted me to call him, and I knew his house in Lakewood would be a good place to park, so that worked out well. I get to Ed's house around 9, park, and go inside. I haven't eaten yet.
I get in, say hi to Ed, his cousin, and his roommate Bob (who thinks my name is John). I then get out my flask and take a shot of Jameson and crack a Guinness. This was a good idea, I'm sure. We chill out for a bit, I take his other roommate's backpack and fill it with beer, and off we go. Ed, being a smart guy, also decided that taking a bottle full of Screwdriver in the car would be a good idea. It was.
Drink count: ~4
At this point, it's about 9:45, and we have strict instructions to meet in the CVS parking lot at Lovers and Greenville. We did park and attempt to hang out on Lower Greenville for a bit, but Ed's cousin was 19 with no fake ID. This is a problem that, upon finishing college, you don't expect to have again. Strange experience to not be able to get in someplace. It didn't matter, because by the time we got back to the car it was a little after 10. North! To CVS!
Drink count: ~6 (I had continued with the whiskey)
Next: The Parade, or "I got beer on my back and whiskey in my pocket"
Upon leaving the bar, I felt it necessary to stop by a liquor store for the obligatory bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey. I made it with 5 minutes to spare. A stop at the gas station for a 12 pack of Guinness Draught-in-a-bottle, and I was all set (for the morning and early afternoon at least).
Home, bed, set alarm for 7:35.
Wake at 7:35. Hit snooze 3 times (at 10 minutes per). 8:05 actually out of bed. Feelin' good. QUICK shower. Green shirt, cargo pants (I needed the pockets), argyle socks, boat shoes, white linen shirt, green Sox hat. Lookin' good (this would be a temporary state).
I hop in the car, fill my flask with Jameson (hence the cargo pants), and drive off. I needed gas for the car and ice for the beer, and both are available at the same location (hence the name "convenience store"). Ed wanted me to call him, and I knew his house in Lakewood would be a good place to park, so that worked out well. I get to Ed's house around 9, park, and go inside. I haven't eaten yet.
I get in, say hi to Ed, his cousin, and his roommate Bob (who thinks my name is John). I then get out my flask and take a shot of Jameson and crack a Guinness. This was a good idea, I'm sure. We chill out for a bit, I take his other roommate's backpack and fill it with beer, and off we go. Ed, being a smart guy, also decided that taking a bottle full of Screwdriver in the car would be a good idea. It was.
Drink count: ~4
At this point, it's about 9:45, and we have strict instructions to meet in the CVS parking lot at Lovers and Greenville. We did park and attempt to hang out on Lower Greenville for a bit, but Ed's cousin was 19 with no fake ID. This is a problem that, upon finishing college, you don't expect to have again. Strange experience to not be able to get in someplace. It didn't matter, because by the time we got back to the car it was a little after 10. North! To CVS!
Drink count: ~6 (I had continued with the whiskey)
Next: The Parade, or "I got beer on my back and whiskey in my pocket"
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