The Parade

Having not attended the Greenville Avenue St. Patrick's Day (or not) parade before, I was unprepared for the sight as Ed's car turned off of Central and on to Greenville (via University or some other street between Mockingbird and Lovers). I'm not sure why all of us decided to crack a beer in the car just prior to this, but in light of the increased police presence in that neighborhood, it probably wasn't a great idea (although it was a much worse idea for the 19 year old and the driver than it was for me).

We managed to find a parking spot at the Tom Thumb. I'm not sure how, but I'm sure it had something to do with me. After a quick seal-breaking by the dumpsters, we were off. The crowd on that corner was MASSIVE. When I find myself in the middle of a mob like that, I often wonder how hard it would be to start a riot. 2 of the 3 elements were there, but it just wasn't hot enough. People were too content. In order to TRULY start a massively destructive riot, there must be a large group of people (check), they must be drunk (double check!), and they must be pissed off already (hence the need for heat). Unfortunately, the weather was perfect.

While we weren't going to be "burning the motherfucker down", we did spot Fro in the parking lot of the CVS. Time to crack a beer and light up a smoke. Mmmm... Guinness and Tobacco. Mix in a pull of whiskey from time to time, and I'm getting there. The rest of the crew filters in just as the parade is about to start. One of their coolers has already been broken. People need to learn that styrofoam coolers cannot support the weight of a toddler, let alone a 25 year old girl. Oh well, not my beer.

I had little desire to actually see the parade. It was about what I expected. Drunk people on poorly made floats throwing beads and other trinkets at the crowd. Naturally, I tried to catch said trinkets. I got 1 string of green beads and I was happy. I also saw the BC float, which was nice, and the ND float, which I threw shit at. Overall, a wonderfully absurdist spectacle that had little to do with Ireland

Drink count: ~10

For some strange reason, I had to piss. I like Asian people, also. What do these two statements have to do with each other? Well, the Chinese restaurant on the block had a restroom and NO LINE to use it. Now most places on this day reserved their restrooms for, you know, people who actually bought their shit. Not this place. Everyone assumed that it wasn't open to the public. I'm not sure whether or not it was, but we used it anyway, and the polite Asian man didn't try to stop me. He made the right decision, as doing so would have been hazardous to his health. I REALLY had to pee.

More beer, more whiskey, parade ends with the Budweiser horses. I wasn't drinking Anheuser-Busch products, but it was cool nonetheless.

Parade ends. Street's a mess. I have 1 beer left in my backpack. Good timing! We get back to the car and crack a beer (AGAIN!). Getting out of the parking lot was a bit of a pain, but the beer helped. Then Ed made a fatal mistake. He turned into The Village. Impossible to get around, wrong turns, dead ends. Cops everywhere. FINALLY made it to Skillman. Then things get fuzzy. Ed just drops me off near the M streets and Greenville. He said he'd call me later. I haven't seen him since.

Drink count: ~13

Next: Greenville and The Granada, "Where the fuck am I and where is everyone?"